How are you?
It’s been such a long time.
Are you still there?
Do you even care?
You once told yourself.
That if you didn’t practice the art of healing,
You’d be typing away.
So you could express your heart out.
Days passed by without a word,
Weeks flew by and months began rolling in.
No words resonnated.
I am busy, I am tired.
Do I need to justify myself some more?
My mind is blank.
Inspiration has foresaken me.
Was it the pressure of living to people’s expectations?
Was it the numbers the failed to satisfy your own greed?
Were these the reasons you felt like drowning?
Drowning, in you own words left unsaid?
Did you eventually get lost on your way to the top?
Do you even know the directions as to where you are headed.
Well you thought you did.
Boy, you got everything wrong.
Stop thinking too hard.
Stop thinking too much.
Stop berating yourself.
Stop doing this to yourself.
Didn’t people say its okay to fall.
After all, it’s the journey not the end point.
So stop nursing that wounded ego of yours.
Scars are there for a reason.
Finally, these uncoherent musings finally make sense.
Words are out.
Do you need to hear the verdict?
You’ve done well.
To all those reading, I know it’s been a while since I posted. I was gone for a while from this great community.
I know every person feels to justify themselves for their actions. I too feel that way so I should try to justify myself. I know there are people who enjoy my work that I feel I have letdown by keeping silent.
I finally understand the true definition of silence. It is not merely the absence of sounds but rather the absence of thoughts and a form of expression.
Silence can strip away a person’s freedom of expression. It can even strip one’s soul.
Like most people working tireless to earn a living, these past months have been spent juggling two work jobs while I manage to squeeze in sometime for myself, friends and most importantly family.
These are but reasons.
We are full of justifications once we feel cornered. Right?
As the list of reasons became longer, the longer I spent away, the anxiety began to build up inside me.
The numbers were going down and I felt that the pressure to write something great, sucked out all the inspiration from me. Hence the vicious cycle began.
Self doubt suddenly flooded in.
Can I live up to my readers expectations?
Would anyone still be reading this anyway?
And that is why it took so long.
Like any curious soul would do, every now and then I would visit and read other’s posted works. And like a ghost, I left no trace. Nothing.
It took a while for everything to settle out. IT TOOK AWHILE FOR ME TO MAKE THESE REALIZATIONS.
- I envied them.
- I missed the community.
- I missed myself even more.
After gently smacking myself in the forehead, I’ve decided to go back. To go back to where I started.
Back to the time where stats didnt matter much to me.
Back to the time where building a following wasn’t the biggest of my worries.
And back to the time where writing was my own form of expression.
I am here to inspire those who want to be inspired. I am here because I want to connect and not for the following.
Rest if you must but dont quit! You only cease to be a writer once you actually stop breathing, your heart stops beating and if you stop writing.