The ideology of perfection has always surrounded me ever since I was a child. It was a concept embedded in me for as long as I could ever remember.
Being an only child, the burden to achieving what society dictates was placed heavily on my shoulders.
As to what modern society expects may vary from one place to another.
PERFECTION was defined by Mirriam Webster as:an exemplification of supreme excellence. In my own perception it is: achieving what is ideal.
So what is Ideal? As to my own vantage point, in order to become the perfect daughter it would entail a lot of things. Just to sum things up would be as follows:
The check list: THE MUST BE
1. Achieving good grades in order to gain entrance to the most prestigious medical school.
(MUST BE SMART)
2. Gain respect amongst people who are renowned and admired in the respective fields.
(MUST IMPRESS and HAVE AN IMPECABLE RECORD
3. Attain success and make a name in the chosen field set up for you.
(MUST BE SUCCESSFUL IN EVERYTHING YOU DO)
In order to fulfill “the checklist” one must go through a long and steep road in hopes to marked off at least one of the impossible goals set.
My path to “success”, especially during my earlier years, was a never ending struggle. It was laced with a lot of tears and discontentment most especially within myself.
My heart constantly felt heavy as doubt slowly consumed me.
I was never good enough.
1. I WASN’T SMART ENOUGH:
After years of hard work and endless nights spent studying, I failed to gain entry to the most prestigious medical school which everyone deemed ideal for me.
2. I TARNISHED THE PERFECT IMAGE PAINTED OUT FOR ME: The “role model image” my parents envisioned for me collapsed, as my failures continued pouring in. As a daughter of someone brilliant, I fell short from my goal.
3. I FAILED TO ATTAIN SUCCESS:
Receiving the “Ideal Education” meant everything in my household. Failing to get into the medical school that was expected of me meant the end to my future endeavours.
The idea of perfection ruined me. It was as if the norms of society transformed into a monster and swallowed me up whole.
I was never good enough.
If given the chance to delete this chapter in my earlier years… would I rewrite history?
Surprisingly, my answer would be a no. I wouldn’t change a thing. The struggles I went through in order to attain perfection eventually taught me an invaluable lesson.
I was good enough and merely failed to see this in myself.
If I could go back in time, I would probably just tell my old self a
Better check list: THE IMPORTANT LEARNINGS
1. Get good grades because it means you learned a great deal.
(LEARN NOT TO KNOW BUT TO UNDERSTAND)
2. Gain respect amongst people who matter. Most especially those people who encourage and believe in you. Be respected by those who stand by you and by those who truly matters.
(LEARN TO LEAN ON THE RIGHT KIND OF PEOPLE)
3. Attain success and make a name in endeavours you are passionate about. Work hard so you could be proud of yourself.
(LEARN TO SUCCEED IN THINGS THAT MATTERS TO YOU)
Perfection is an ideation everyone strives to achieve. It also makes or breaks a person. Whether you choose for it to make or break you is simply up to you.
I chose the earlier path. Having nearly lost myself in the battle for perfection made me realise to choose the wiser choice.
We can never avoid the standards set up by society nor can we avoid the pressures that comes with it. So why allow the monster to break me, when I can chose for it to make me instead.
The curse of perfection. Is it a monster or an angel in disguise?
As a topic quite close to my heart I hope this message reaches out to you as well. So what are your thoughts? How would you define perfection? Would you allow it to make or break you?
© 2018 Eva Gamallo
Photo credits: freeimage.com, pixabay.com
Text on Photo: © 2018 Eva Gamallo